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Indian Legends Lata Mangeshkar 'The Nightingale'   - She is a living legend and Queen of Melody. A modest effort by Gateway for India to pay tribute to one of the greatest Indian singer Kishore Kumar   - He was one of the greatest Indian male play back singer and an unparalleled comedian . Gateway for India remembers the great 'Kishore Da'. Raj Kapoor - A tribute to the 'Great Showman' of Indian cinema. Mehmood - He was one of the greatest comedians of Indian cinema. Walking down the memory lanes we remember Mehmood - The comedy King                                          Music and Entertainment Music India Online   - A great site for all types of Indian music - Classical, regional, Film, Indian Pop, Ghazals etc. Hindi songs   -A big collection of Hindi songs both Film and non- film. Smash hits   - A good collection of all types of Indian songs both Hindi and regional. Also Bollywood, jokes, chat and astrology. Indian Music Links   - Information about Indian music; no audio, text only. Radio Sargam   - Bollywood portal and new hindi songs. India FM   - Bollywood portal and hindi songs. Bollywood  - News, chat, gossip about Bollywood. Amitabh Bachchan  - Everything you want to know about Big B ; news and gossip. Aishwarya Rai  - Pictures, video clips, and anything else you want to know about Aish.                                                       Comic Santa Banta - Jokes, humor, funny cards. Funtoosh   - Another supposedly funny site. Click here to see funny pics. Weekly Jokes Banta was appearing for his University final examination which had Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he was all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour". "But yaar", he says, "I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote". -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once a friend of Banta tells him to at least do his graduation. So, Banta appears for the Bachelors exam. After the question papers are distributed, everyone is busy writing , but Banta starts removing his shirt, trousers and undershirt. Annoyed the examiner yells at him, and asks as to what is he up to? Banta points out to the question paper where it was written "WRITE IN BRIEF". ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why can't Banta dial 911? He cannot find eleven on the phone! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blonde in leather jacket - What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A rebel without a clue. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt. The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where." The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!" Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!" She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!" She looked at her doctor and said, "See? It hurts everywhere!" The doctor laughed and said, "Don't worry; it's not serious. You''ve just got a broken index finger." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty ridiculous. Getting an idea, he walked naked and purposefully through the corridors until he reached the Research & Development laboratory. He walked in and saluted the Head Scientist. "I am here to report the partial success of the personal invisibility device!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde and her father are walking down a street when the father says, ''Look, a dead bird.'' And the blonde looks up and says, ''Where?'' --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two children were in a doctor's waiting room. The little girl was softly sobbing. "Why are you crying?" asked the little boy. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger," said the girl. When he heard this, the little boy started to cry. "Why are you crying?" asked the girl. The boy looked at her worriedly and said, "I'm here for a urine test." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 70-year-old George went for his annual physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, "But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!" A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night." Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lawyer- Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer. You have a gun with just two bullets in it. What do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he''s dead. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Doctor: I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first. Doctor: You have 24 hours to live. Patient: What!?! How about the bad news? Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy found a penguin and showed him to a policeman. The policeman said, "Take that penguin to the zoo, now." Next day the policeman sees the man with the penguin again. The policeman stops the guy and says, "What on earth are you doing with that penguin?" The guy says, "What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and now I'm taking him to the movies." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died." The man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.'' The brother thought about it and apologized. "So how's Mom?" asked the man. "She's on the roof and won't come down." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lessons in Global Economics : TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the eonomy grows. You retire on the income. INDIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You worship them. PAKISTAN ECONOMICS You dont have any cows. You claim that the Indian cows belong to you. You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, British for Warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, French for submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for equipment. You buy the cows with all this and claim of exploitation bythe world. AMERICAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of fourcows. You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some nation with cows & naturally thatnation will be a danger to mankind.You wage a war to save the world and grabthe cows. FRENCH ECONOMICS You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows. GERMAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves. BRITISH ECONOMICS You have two cows.They are both mad cows. ITALIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You don't know where they are. You break for lunch. SWISS ECONOMICS You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. JAPANESE ECONOMICS You have two cows. You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. RUSSIAN ECONOMICS You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 17 cows. You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka Best letter from Sardarji's Mom. Vahe Guru. I am in a well here and hoping you in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address Plate here, so that our address will remain same too. This place is really nice.It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I m not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and havent seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfil his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. P.S : Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.